giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
