This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
