I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
