I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
