ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
