maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
