paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
