Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
