Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
