Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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