i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
