just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
