Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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