i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sext me about skeletons
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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