he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
