You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
