remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
