I'm drive I can fine osifer
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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