are you still at the devil's house?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
