idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
