I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
