his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
