You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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