i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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