Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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