i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
