i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
