are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
