ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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