did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
