i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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