I want to stick my p in your. b.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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