so that wasnt chicken after all
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
