I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
