i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
