hotel room ftw
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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