uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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