Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
