The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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