We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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