McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
