Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
