the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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