Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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