there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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