I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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