Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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