it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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