wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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