I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
