i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we're so committed to being not committed
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