I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
